She walked in every Sunday Morning
Her high tail swinging left and right
The feet appeared with big square shoes
Polished with socks a deathly white!
Her Mongol eyes, her big lipped smile
The cheery voice that stretched the line
And all turned round to greet her stare
“Hey guys! Hello from Pooja here!”
She loved to talk with friends who cared
To walk up to her table chair
And laughed aloud with no regrets
She knew she was the teacher’s pet!
She often laughed in quiet hours
Feeling no shame nor classroom bars!
I loved her for her simple ways
Her naughty winks and childish dares!
“Your teaching style won’t meet her needs
Her special needs make her unique!”
Miss Y was placed with her in class
And so it was a year of stars!
And while I roamed around in class
To check the work in progress deep
She clutched my hand each time I crossed
And said “I love you teacher most!
I gave her work and made her tests
I had to sit for extra hours
I knew she tried and strived to learn
Her future plans were my concern!
I called her mum who came at once
A face to like, quite warm and dear
She sat across my table and,
Her hands were cold, trembling with fear!
“I know it’s hard for you to try
To make some sense or understand
My daughter needs to be with kids
With normal lives to call as friends!
It may not seem the best of plans
To place her in a school as this
A school with special needs they say,
Would meet her needs the structured way!”
I saw her eyes all filled with tears
Her mommy strength being ripped in layers
She kept on trying to say it all
Leaving no gaps to face a fall!
Quite logically, it was but true
Her daughter needed someone who
Could make a change or move ahead
Who understood her learning threads!
It was not me, I wasn’t trained
To teach a child with special needs
It was not fair for her to stress
Upon the need to keep her there!
“Why don’t you see the problem here?
It’s not enough to be with friends
She needs to learn her way in life
To have some hope, some ray of light!”
I felt her face all shrink in size
She smiled in pain and looked aside
Her daughter strolling with some girls
Glancing at mom, her big lips curled!
“My daughter was just 4 years old,
I dressed her up with pink dress shoes
I tied her hair with fancy bands
And can’t forget the photo shoot!
Like every mum I prayed to God
She would not cry or weep in school
I hoped her smile would win their hearts
And let her in to make a start!
She smiled at them to melt their hearts
She used those lips and hugged for free
And all of them shook hands with her
But every head would disagree!
From school to school I drove with her
Engrossed in all my thoughts
I knew it was a task ahead
And had to keep my mask!
The car was parked under a tree
We walked to it with tired feet
I sat her down and placed the belt
I knew not that she looked at me!
I settled in and buckled up
I held the steering wheel
The mask came off and left me bare
I can’t forget that moment rare!
She ushered me to hold her tight
Her tiny arms folded in fright
She looked at me and sadly said,
“I’m Sorry Mama, don’t be sad!
She was just 4 and yet she knew
My pain, my joys, my every move
That moment that I failed her dreams
Clings on to me and never leaves!
I dare not fall into that space
That left a void into my heart
I dread to meet that haunting hour
My child took charge of every scar!
She may not learn the rules of science
Or the equations of a law
But what she learns from being here
Is that she’s playing her role to share!
She makes me proud to have a seat
She helps me want to see
That in a world of perfection
There’s space for incomplete!”
Nothing can win a mother’s heart
That simply shows and tells
We may be blessed with every sense
Yet fail to reason well!
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