In Fear Of Being Discovered

“I have pushed this child to be in Grade 6, though according to his age, he should be in Grade 7,” the Principal informed me hurriedly as the tall, chubby boy entered her office to share the greetings for his first day at school. He had a soft smile and his manners were laudable!

“Good Morning “A”! How are you?” The Principal shook his hands with warmth trying to make him feel better about the decision to sit through Grade 6 again. I extended a handshake and he complied with the same respect and protocol.

As he exited the room, the Principal informed me that he had been a little upset with the school decision but his entrance test indicated weak Literacy skills and therefore it was important that he followed the Grade 6 ELA Programme.

There was something very likeable about the child and the moment I entered the classroom to teach Grade 6 English, I found his quiet demeanour strangely over-powering.

As we followed class routines and the writing programme, I was surprised to discover that he was a boy of great intellect and ideas. His sentence structure was of average quality and often he struggled to transfer the thoughts on his own. I would reach out at such times and it was during these sessions that I fell in love with his sensitivity to details.

As part of their Free Verse Poetry Lesson, I asked the students of Grade 6 to critically analyse the poem, “I dreamed in a dream” by Walt Whitman. Being an ESL School primarily, the students found the content quite challenging. Keeping the challenge in mind, I planned my entire lesson around elaborate details and word meanings.

It was a rewarding activity and eventually the students penned down their thoughts with simplicity but depth.

I asked a few to walk up to the front of the class and voice their ideas. As “A” stood in front of the class ready to read his analysis, I walked up to his chair and seated myself in his place. 

He appeared a miniature teacher. The dream was about an invincible city of friendship led by a robust love. He used the predictable terms such as “everybody loved each other” and “love was very powerful”. But then he reverted to comparing the City of Dreams to the Real World!

“The real world has war. It has jealousy, greed and hatred! The world we live in has no place for love or understanding. That is why, the city with robust love is only in a dream! I wish that real power would not come in money or position, but with love and compassion!”

Of course I worked on structuring his sentences well to make sense but the thoughts were entirely his creation and spoke well for his fine mind.

A few days later I was asked to deliver a report on “A’s” performance in ELA as the father was still pressing for a promotion for his able son who was not settling in with the idea of repeating the class.

I produced a fair report whereby I felt he would be able to manage the Grade 7 ELA Programme. In about another two days, I was busy teaching the class when “A” was called for a retest to decide on his promotion. He left excitedly smiling at me.

In my heart of hearts, I felt happy for him and knew that he would manage the test well.

As soon as I completed the class I walked up to my desk only to find this little man sitting at a corner table with his test with tears flowing down his eyes. His manner of crying carried a sense of dignity as well. He wiped the tears before they left his eyes.

I walked up to him with deep concern. His thoughts were scattered poorly on the paper and his pen was jammed onto a word.

I analysed the sheet. It was a level 4 test paper which was allotted to the most fluent writers. He had been asked to write a persuasive write up of about 1200 words in a matter of 30 minutes to convince the school with reasons why he should be promoted to Grade 7. His eyes were lowered as he felt the shame of probably disappointing his father who had put up a fight for his son’s strong desire to be placed in the right class.

I couldn’t stand with him for too long but tried my level best to encourage him with ideas and prompts to get those creative thoughts going. He looked too hurt to make an effort.

That afternoon we had a Professional Development Meeting. The usual agendas were discussed. The lady conducting the meeting was an American, our Director of Curriculum and someone who found the Arabic Culture quite amusing. Often she would refer to the Arabic students and parents as cavemen and duffers. 

While on the topic of standards, she said, “Today was hilarious! I just scared the living daylights out of this fat piece of flesh with a 1200 word persuasive essay!” My heart sunk. “His father was so convinced that his fat son would make him proud and you should have seen this boy’s face when I told him to complete this in 30 minutes! It was as if he had been hit in the head!” She laughed uncontrollably and the ones who felt safe in her power laughed along with her like mere puppets.

I felt rage.  “It’s a pity because he is quite a talented writer. And we really don’t have any fluent writers in Grade 7!”

The Math teacher along with his Science teacher were equally angered and raised their opinions to stand up with me. “That boy is amazing!” said the Math teacher. “Why would you give an ESL student a Level 4 test?” questioned the Science teacher.

She was taken aback by the sudden outcome as she was not used to criticism of any sort! We were hammered with the need to look at things more realistically and become practical in our approach to promote students, as expected. 

The meeting finished and as I walked out of the room, my heart felt battered by this innocent child’s critical analysis of the Real World. 

“The real world has war. It has jealousy, greed and hatred! The world we live in has no place for love or understanding. That is why, the city with robust love is only in a dream! I wish that real power would not come in money or position, but with love and compassion!”

In a matter of days, the boy left the school completely heart-broken and the American lady was terminated for her arrogance and ignorance. 

Intellect is far from Literacy Attainment. It is not a prisoner to language or culture. It need not appear on a Fluent Level 4. It comes with the knowledge of identifying what is wrong, unacceptable and real. It comes with possibilities to dream, believe and achieve. We live in a world of labels. And every day we work hard to impose our standards onto others with an underlying belief that we stand taller and wiser for one reason or the other.

A child has all the intellect to dissect our hearts and minds. Some of us enjoy this act of sacrifice whilst others jump to completely ruin the confidence in fear of being discovered!